So, yesterday, I get up and put on shorts and a shirt and then think, "wait. This is Oklahoma, and just because yesterday was gorgeous doesn't mean that today will be the same. I should check the weather." And just so you know, checking the weather in my house means opening the door and looking outside, feeling the temperature, for, like, five seconds, you know? Just open the door, look out, close the door. Nothing complicated. Not even stepping out. Just looking.
So I go to the door, and I open it, and I notice the guy from the apartment next to us standing out there with his back to me, holding something. I also note that the weather is fine for shorts, being clear, sunny and warm. Having completed my five second weather check, I closed the door.
Did you follow that?
I opened the door, looked out, closed the door.
Having closed and relocked the door (habit, sometimes it just blows open if we don't) I hear the chick from next door YELL: AM I BEING TOO LOUD ON MY OWN FUCKIN' FRONT PORCH? OPEN AND CLOSE THAT DOOR AGAIN, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!
Whuh...?
I'm standing inside my apartment, just behind my front door, trying to decide if I should open and close the door again, just because I can, or should I poke my head out and look at her, or just leave it alone. I finally decided to go and share my latest adventure from the outside world with Luigi, who always understands my bafflement at moments like this.
So I went and relayed the whole story to him, and he was just as amazed as I was. I mean, the only time we have ever knocked on their door to complain about anything was the time they woke us up because we could hear them fighting. I mean seriously. It sounded like a WWF match in their bathroom for a minute. (Their bathroom shares the wall with ours, so the bedrooms are on the outside walls of the building. So do you see, now, how much noise they had to be making to WAKE US UP?) Luigi had gotten up, and knocked on their door, in his boxers, and told them look. I don't care. It's none of my business. But it's like eight in the morning, my gf works nights, and you are really loud. Or something very close. I wasn't there. I was in the bed.
But that was when they first moved in, like a year ago or pretty close to it. So if she's still pissed off that we complained because they're having a domestic brawl that is loud enough to wake up your neighbors that are sleeping three rooms away from the fight instead of, you know, calling the police or something, I just don't know what to say.
I was kind of hoping that she would be outside when we left the house so she would say something, but I still was searching for just the right response, so I guess it's better this way. I'm still thinking about it. I think that the best response to anything she would say would be, "Why does it have to be about you?" and then just get into my car.
I am so glad I'm going to be moving...
